So christmas is down ..and done !

It was wonderful and i dont feel the let down i usually do and i am enjoying my week off or should say 9 days off . We decide to send our oldest dd to her hockey high school tournament by her self .it was 6+ hours each way for three days in a small town with nothing for girls to do . so we took the money we saved and change our ceiling to a "racetrack ceiling " and smooth which it was not and drive dh crazy and paint living room and hopeful kitchen but we will see if we get time . Poor dh working harder then he does when he at work .
Me i spent 1/2 today and yesterday shopping with three girls (two today ) drop oldest at school coach bus at 5:45am, this morning . wow these girls and shopping wear me out . And i have goal i been doing i want done this week each day and am working through the list so am happy with that . DC book keeping , Christmas stuff put away . declutter the kitchen . (these done ) now tomorrow work on dc curriculum room . (goal for tomorrow) plus take girls to a movie then pizza with a group of friends ! that the start of my week off . oh yah it only monday !!

Tree up Presents wrap

wrap about 40 presents today 10 dc . 5 to 6 each of my own children and my moms and a few others . I still need to write all the cards for and package gift cards and cash .
Tree up son home from college so he set it up and girls put ornaments on it . And he even took the girls to store to buy their new ornament my grandmother their great gma send them money to get a new one each year . One more day of shopping run to mall vs and bath and body run . Finish food shopping as snow coming in boohoo . Really it white enough out side you think ?
I got a dumb cold feeling blah stuff head in fog so much fun when i have so much i want to do .
Well that it for now i have many things to say but wont tonight .

well am still here

I have not felt like updating this week . Not sure if it the snow , cold ice or holiday but boy i could stay in bed or at least on my coach until April .Am not even that kind of person .

Ready For holiday nope . One more day shopping and then i be done i think .I bought the ham for eve dinner and now come up with all sides and something for Christmas day at BIL it is like a week away basically in my head anyway . I have not even started wrapping and i wrap for 4 kids even 4 gift a pc it alot lol .

smoking i did great for a week actual did not really smoke all weekend then i went back ahh so i need to get in mide set and just do it again . I have not gave up .. i will contine this fight .

money stressed well one new family started and 2nd should start new year and one on the 15th jan so that will help a tons once it all comes together . every time i think ok my finance roll something happen . Kids car need some work all because hum 16 year should not drive in winter lol no i think dh being to tough but she made some bad choice that cost us some money. nothing bad she well not sure what happen i think stuck on ice Monday morning on way to school on high way and drive might of died stalled and well she took a ride to school left car . which of course got towed before dh could get back to it with some one . Then he decide it was not running right after picking it from the tow yard so 200.00 lost pay , 135.00 tow 150.00 part and still we want to take it in for am sure another 200.00 . always something isn't .

Well crazy week end coming up actual start tomorrow basketball game , Friday basketball game Saturday softball and hockey game then sunday rest i hope . Oh yah remember i still need to finish my Christmas shopping . Then only 4 days of work then Christmas eve .

Son will be home tomorrow for winter break . kids still have school until Thursday i think all three girls do .

Wow did the year go . 2010 many blessing .

Well i have the Attitude

of who cares or could say something worst so i need to change my thinking . Had a great week end non smoke and now am back about 1/2 what i used to so it better but i think i need to change my Attitude . Ahh it hard anbd i want to and i dont . So torn . I can do it ...

Sunday already

well my anger comes and goes . smoking ok hopeful by new year i be compete done . am trying to follow the non smoking plan but i think quieting cold turkey would almost be easier . it no physical at all all mental ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. One thing at a time .

Ok one day down .

So father came home and will be recovery .
My fight today was the first day am not going to smoke . Well not really am follow the drug plan so i started the non smoking drug and i cut at least 1/2 the amount i smoke hopeful tomorrow i cut that in 1/2.I refuse to by more . I want to quick . It sad i can not decide the 1# reason to quiet . It sad isn't it sorry i feel guilty . My kids ,my heath . money 50 a week (good thing i don't drink hum )and have no life but my children ,smell , the stigma that goes with smoking . Ahh so many reason i just don't know which one will keep me from going back . Maybe me saying it out loud .

So what a week and it not over

My dad is ok he will recovery with the right meds . so thanks for your pray and thought but now i need them . My little bad habit i smoke and have smoked for hum 20 + years that a long time . Am praying with all my might for the straight and courage to save my self , my family and possible my dads life . Maybe if i quiet he will also . I watch my grandfather die from lung cancer and i watch my fil have a stroke and his never fulling recovery . And now my dad . Am already on boarder with my blood pressure . And worst i just hate everything about it . not sure what i hate worst to keep me from smoking . Am going to give this a big try . I tried last year but did not stick with it . i am just going to keep my self am quieting . Am quieting !

so i hate when you haveto be a grown up !

so am a great advocate for my children and i think i could possible for my husband but it hard when it your parents . My Father had a heart attack today and then a stint put in . He will be ok and will recovery but it hard thinking what could of been . I could of lost him today . It hard watching when one of your parents becomes weaker . As they always seem stronger .

I love to hate my job

So when i woke am was so thanksful for my job and top 5 reason why i love my job i didnot need to drive today . And then my dad had a heart acttach last night and now i hate my job . You just can leave and take off easy and early . I hate itI hate it ad more stress !

Well Enjoyed my 4days off

Enjoyed my wonderful Thanksgaving to wonder family meals with great family and people . We are very blessed to have great family .

I also which is here some picture of my four children . I was thinking i would not get any this year as son away at school . He as last year also but i had is grad picture to use for our christmas card . It was a sad thinking last year was my last family christmas card . i know the time is counted . Even if i dont make cards with pictures i still like to get a pitcure each year of the 4 .

Well am fighting a head ach for three days . I hope got goes away . busy

week filled with softball , basketball and hockey of course . Work and family. High note i thnk i finished Christmas shopping mostly . A few giftcards need to pick up and one store run and am good . started getting holiday deco up . I love the lights up .

Am Thankful For :

Am thankful i can yell at my 4 heath kids . (as they are alive and heath to be yelled at )
Iam thankful i can whiny about my husbands sock on floor (i have a husband and he doing well)
Iam thankful i can worry about my children driving (they have a car they heath smart and alive )
Am thankful i can call the morage company (i have a morage , a house and money to pay it )
Am thanks for the childcare child that makes me mad (as i have a job which i love )
Am thankful my mom lol bugs me when she does it and is not listening (i have a mom )
Am my dad tickes me off (because i called him this week and i have a dad )
so many things am thankful for and it a wonderful thing all these things make me made be am so grateful to have them all and many other blessing in my life .
Happy Thanksgiving

When you think things are going a long then !

Well i was feeling really down or stressed last week with money and today started feeling way better then i remember i had my son book to buy before Christmas or around then (maybe one a week be good ) then he tells me he wants meal plan hum no 1100 a semester i think that run oach , right now i give him 50.00 a week or should say anywhere to 40 to 60 depending if he comes home that week and needs 10.00 for ride to and from school . now i think 1110. is a lot for a semester of food really , i need to figure what i give him but that includes everything 200.00 a month for 3 months right so 600.00 to 1100+ .can sorry .Now in next fall maybe he can afford to but for now i am saying no . Need books instead . Also while we are on him he wants to take a call scuba diving really cool but hello i think extra huge cost so we will be talking about this one also . he need to pay which hum he was no money . Right now am praying he got grades to stay in next semester . i know nothing which what worry me if you know me . no control here .
lets go onto this oldest daughter . so she wants a north face jacket great right and am thinking i cannot get her one as to much money well i bought her one today for Christmas and then she comes in with a friends and say we going to areo they have the jackets you know i want but cheap like 17 in all color ahh . i said no wait . you need your money for the week-end , ahh i could of got her 4 for the price of the one i got her.
Well off to bed to dream of all the money that leaves my hand as fast it comes in .

Is the Week over yet

i know has not start but i dont feel like starting it .Not sure why not overly busy for us . nothing tomorrow night off in morning , interview in afternoon . then dinner and well nothing much then Tuesday hockey game ,Basketball practice and Wed work then off for four days . norther over busy a little softball and a hockey game. so not sure on the feeling . Iam not sure i like down time when most things i want are done . I need to do some Christmas shopping but weather was Sukey so i put that on hold .
ok that all am feeling .
oh update on my oldest Daughter out in Cali well she got to see all the site Hollywood ,board walk you name but little ball two games on Friday i guess they had a rain Storm . ops . who would of know . Her flight already delay until about 1:30am so let home they land in mn tonight and everyone get home safe and can sleep in on bed .

Almost Friday !

Well tonight my oldest Daughter 16 got on a plane to LAX Cali sunny Cali well not so sunny please change the weather we did not spend all this money for her to sit in a hotel I'll cry if she don't get to play ball . she's playing the top teams in the county . Now they are not they are the top team in MN and area around but as we live in MN . We can not compete with teams for Cali , FL, AZ GA etc. So lets cross she gets to play these tops teams they went out to see .It a honor she gets to play against these themes .
Lets pray and i have faith they will be ok and have a fun safe trip . I hate when i send her on these trips with out us .
Wel she excited so i hope they have a great trip .

I Feel Like Am Crushing

And Burning . Hopeful next week i feel better and calmer . I have this over whelming feeling things now working in my favor right now . Am just falling more behind . I pray for strength to do this all . And we all shall be taken care of .

Monday madness

why is it you all feel this Monday morning madness which it comes . It does come every week say time every week . Well i always feel like i have to play catch up and a million things have to be done before what ? Tuesday next Monday.. Well cleaning what didn't get done over week end . Bill to pay , shopping list , Work ready for week and this time of year Christmas is coming . so today i sweep floors , pay bills washing towels now . Work of course and finish preparing for the week . Oldest leave Thursday for Cali for week end and i know i have a few things to prepare her to go like a carry on suitcase so we only have to check her bat bag .

Friday final here !well almost a few hours ago

So husband is still gone until Sunday make a long week . but sadly some way easier ok i know should not say that out loud . hehe . Well with week end coming work tomorrow , volley game and bank , dinner and maybe a quick store run . Saturday hockey game , hit the stores and then two softball games and then Sunday finish anything i need to grab and two more softball game . crazy crazy ..
Went to oldest school for conference today 3.95+ she doing well but i think she over doing it . with her crazy hockey and softball schedule plus school , volunteer and of course social life . It is hard for her body to heal . I am proud and i know she working hard to do it all and do it all good .

Well another week all well .

Well am kind of little sick darn sinus infection and this nasal crap wont go away . Same here and there . Dealing with same teen crap . Busy busy dh still gone we made it 4 hockey games and 6 softball games. This week end coming once i get there pass basketball practice , softball practice conference and then start week end will volley ball game , the Saturday hockey game and 2 softball games and then two more on Sunday that my week end . I will try to get some cleaning and shopping of course.
On a proud mommy report oldest daughter has grade point ave 3.95 + that with Honor class with trig Honor's and Spanish 3 Honor plus other but this two are hardest for here . All playing softball and hockey . Amazing if you ask me . She having a great year . she a jr . Great kid i hope she stay on the right track .
Well better get off to bed with this crazy schedule this week .

Another week and a deer widow week !

I used to become a bitch i have to be honest as deer hunting week would come . I hate being a Deer hunter widower over the week .But this year have not even though about husband being gone . and well two of the four children go with now . Oldest son of course husband picking him up at college tomorrow after his class and he is taking our youngest daughter . She excited so go for it . for a few reason i became a witch (i change word ) well hello when i have ever had a week off work (might i say unpaid ) away from my normal life , kids and doing something i enjoy with family and friend. NEVER ! and am sure never will .(i might add dh would used to do this two times a year ) Now i did take some unpaid time off and way from our children when someone died out of state . But i don't call that the same .
I always used that week to deep clean out bedroom. clean the carpet and get other things done . This week though not sure dh will be back Sunday night until Tuesday night. then back up until Sunday .This week end crazy with hockey 3 games and 6 softball games and a few other things . so nothing like that this time at least the first week end . Have not even look into next week end .
The plus easier dinner i feel i don't have to cook as much lol . I love having my bed to self .
Well another deer widow out there have a great week end !

Happy Halloween

so i only have one trick or treat'er now . she is cute .. I do like the Holiday but have mixed feels about it in teaching my children . I don't see anything wrong with having a little fun dressing as a puppy , princess or your fav charter or even angel . We have tried over last 19 years to say away from guts , gory and witches now adays wizard and so forth . We live in our neighbor hood also 20 years so we know everyone and been doing this a long time . sometimes only time i see these neighbor anymore as their children have grown up / We have some neighbors that all go out ,tons of lights ,music,fog 6ft trees light and these blow up things . They the adults dress and give the children candy . I have to say i enjoy that also deco out in all fall with 6ft pumpkin .

I Thank God each night

That he walks with my children as they may not always walk with him . When they could be lead a stray . You hear about horrible things and not so good things . My daughter Nicole is 16 a jr a whole life a head of her .. She had an old friend have a baby this summer wow here parent kicked her out . Sad thing is when my daughter was friends maybe 3/4 or so with her you know she was going to be trouble when she was older . Her dad was abusive and there was something wrong with mom could never point to what but i would say drug but i did not . Dad was so strike AS his kids was never going to be the one that got prego and guess what . she did and they kick her out not really sure how she doing living with other old friends family i heard last . Then yesterday i heard of another family from our church friends with my daughter years ago like 8and 10 year ago just had a baby also i think she like 17/18 . Worst the boyfriend babies daddy got mad at baby mom went into the house she was living in her parents house and burnt it down . they lost everything house will be fix but killed their cat and dog and everything gone baby six week old . so so sad .
Oh brings me back to my children my god .. This last family was a good christen family they grow up in our
church with my children same Sunday school , retreats family involved ? where's it go wrong why children stray . How do we as parents prevent this . Is there anything we can do ? I think we can but am not sure we can 100% prevent things .
Like i have addiction in my family my children are higher risk and % says one of my four will have addiction issue ? Can i prevent it . I do believe environment over genics so i hope so . But i have to have faith god will guide my children the right path if i do my job .
wow sometime i think 20 years this would of not been me .. I was lucky to survive own teen years let alone survive my own now teens years. Have an 19 year old son and 16 year old daughter and two more daughter behide am blessed everyday for having wonderful children making good choices .

Behavior Mod ! HELP preteens

Well am still stuck on what to do to help my children to change their behavior of talking back and excepting everything so to speak . And when told no having a fit . My middle daughter and i had it out again today . I know am to nice and hate to take things away from them but they can not be allowed to get away of talking back or yelling at adult . So what to do What to do . Just want to get the point across you know . i might try to take internet off her phone for a while until her behavior changes she can show she behavioring . she like faces book .

Do you hear that !

Your right nothing and it rearly happens in my house between my work and 4 children . But today From 9:10 when i sent my youngest to school and one school ager i care for to school until 3:15 when my oldest daughter Nik came home it was nothing not one child talking to me . I was not sure i could still hear after that . Nope i did nothing great with my time . I did running around , meet my mom for lunch then came home and sorted coupons and watch a soap and looked on the computer then it was time to pick youngest up from school and wait for other daughter to take to Doc for some boaster shots . It Going to be a wonderful week !

Am Really Struggling with Gratetfulness !

And it not my gratefulness !! it my middle Daughters two of them . I always thought i taught my children to be grateful as things can always be worst . We love what we get and have . Thankful ! Where did i go wrong ? am actual trying to come up with some behavior mod ideas for them two. Now my oldest does a lot of service work and i actual think she work with inner city kids when she older in her field of work . So i think she gets it but it one of these thoughts like it never could be me .. Well i know it could be me .. or i don't take for granted for what i have . i know i was not born with these thoughts or understanding . She going on mission trip over spring break , she serve meal at soup kitchen , teach children in the city but still not sure she gets it .
Am just frustrated no thanks you (which i know being a parents is the most thankful job i can do with out pay ) and upset way they talk to me . just except everything done , get everything . i have to say they dont necessary ask for things it more sport and school stuff not clothes or toys so to speak .But still frustrated ... I try to teach my children a balance in life and hum these two dont seem to get it .

College College everywhere

Wow so my Daughter Nicole is a Jr looking at school really hitting it hard finding a few she might be interested in going to and possible playing ball for . So we have to visit this week one Friday and one Saturday and she already got a list of more to go see . she seen two late this summer also . She been sending out recruitment letter to coach's two come watch her play and making copies of her dvd . amazed at all she doing . Our son he was simply picked a school easy to get into did care to look at other school even though i made him and went ....... As a freshman . Oh i just feel bad for kids today and what they pay for college . 45,000 a year really why ? now lets look at public versus private . she wants private and am mostly with her the money is better on scholarships and she wants a small school with small classes . But is it all worth 20grand more ? i think this is going to be a long road a head of us . She wants to take the time sit in on classes , see what college life like at these school , talk to students gezz not sure i did that much when i got married ... Stay tune it going to a long next year .

Ok my Tantrum over

Do you think adults through tantrums ? As they are just leaving for there 6plus hour drive at 6pm tonight to get home at midnight and all have school and work tomorrow as Dani and i are in the warm house in our pj vegging until bed . My Son back on train to school and i made her french toast for dinner as her request . so i vegging reading blogs and face book . Watching tv and sorting coupons for week yah hoo .. After church with her Gmas and took First communion we went to b-fast then got her ears piece (again ) she let them close up. Ok i feel bad for the girls and R has a head ach she said and really stressed and tired ..
To a great week .............

So i didnot post early as i was ..............

A bitchy or bitch . or should say Jealous . I Did not get to go out of town with my husband , oldest and middle daughter . My youngest is making First communion . Now she could of took it in two weeks again but i decide it be better to take it this Sunday with her group . We had this trip planned for months and my oldest and dh had to go she was playing in a college show case in ILL. So hum home with youngest (which is nice ) instead of stay in hotel , eating out all week end going to a catered dinner at a mansion . Hum i racked leaves for some hours today . Dani and i did have a nice time shopping last night and grabed dinner . Then she helped with yard today ,then we went to ball she had a great game . Now getting ready to go to bed and up early for church .. Iam done being pissed or jealous but i had one of these week . I though dh should of stayed with both girls home but that me .hehe
Jealous i s not a feeling i like . I to be greatful for what right in front of me and not push for things i dont have ..

Sun will come out torrow ..................

Having one of these days and i guess it goes back to last my post. Mommy taking care of her self .. It been a crazy week and am feeling neglected and deprived . OK i know sound bad and selfish but us as mommy never seem to be .. Like i said long week started off with cold sinus issue and i feel like everyone coming after me for something money and time which hello i dont have any of these .. I love everything i do . I love my kids sports , I love there school each one of the kids are important , i love my job but hello i need a hair cut and should not feel bad about it and taking it . It not just that it just one of these nights . As it is night am off to bed ..

Moms Taking care of your self

So do we get lost in today's world being a mom . For years i was good good taking care of my self or i thought i was . Before the girls came along when i just had Aaron and Nik i have girls week end a few times a year . once a week out with girls friends and i keep it up pretty much until the girls where 5 years . Or When i started back to school can not remember as you see it was a while ago girls are now 5 and 10 years old . What happen the girls got bigger and busier so i think i though i did not need as much time .
I once upon time i love to craft , loved school and would go play bingo with the girls .. But now i dont even take the time or money to get a hair cut . Finish a book . Between work which i love , kids which i love being a mom it does not see enough time or money left for me .. Let along the energy to do it .
This all came about as another blog which inspires me decide to make some changes and i call it work on her self possible and so as i follow her journey i thought i should take a look at my self .

Happy Friday ...

The week went fast but it was busy and i have another one coming . and a crazy week end ..
it will be interest my younger dd's will play dome ball and possible wont play there normal spots so we see how they all handle that . am looking forward to wonderful weather .
Oldest dd has homecoming ours is not foramal but a nunch of girls(maybe a few boys) go out to dinner before football game , then to dance (or possible bowling ) then all doing a sleep over at someone house . i always worry i remember when i was 16 . She a great kid but still worry .
Have a great one ..............

11 years ago this time i was in labor .....................

Tomorrow my daughter Randi Marie will be 11 . We did not think we where having anymore children . We had a son 8 and daughter 5 already . we wanted a third but it just never happen . Then i decide i wanted my migraine to be gone and went to doctors and more doctors and got lots of drugs mostly hormones and well guess what the side effect of these hormones "Randi ."...
She will be 11 tomorrow she was born at 850am in the morning . I started labor today i think a Monday also after i went to doctor they thin the cervix so i could have her soon . she was 38 weeks i can not carry complete full term the way my cervix sit (they say ) .
She was never an easy baby ... she had a hormone issue as a new born ?? and we had to bath her like 4x a day in baking soda , then her first Christmas we spent every day at children she had RSV . (she never got it again tho) then she got reflex about 4 months to 8 months . More drugs , more feeding , uncontrolled crying, special sleep position. That sum the first year.
Wow wonder why she not an Easy preteen .
She has turn into a smart , beautiful 6Th grader this year . Talented softball player , basketball player (likes tennis and volleyball also) . She plays the violin this year also . She loves friends , texting , face book and shopping for clothes ...
She is the middle child so she between two sister and a older brother . She very independent maybe cause of this .She loves to be active . never stop , does like her sleep always early up and early to bed . She eats she a whole 64 lb and can eat any teen boy under table . but will eat a huge steak or 3 pork chops and all meal fixing no problem then have a snack .. she just burns it all off . I guess !

Daughters

I was told i would blessed with a daughter like me (meaning it was not always going to )But be a blessing more a pain in A** or a pay back . But three really what was god thinking . I do thank him each day (truly ) But am having some issue .One Teen and two preteens .
First i will say and still can see .... am thankful for 4 healthy children, great value and morals , they stay true to self . all good grade , stay out of trouble am very lucky .
Then coming to my frustrated lets start with youngest she a name caller to her sister and i want it to stop , which then cause huge fights with the two of them . I say she also disrespectful also to her sister and us . Middle child right now has no respect for us . I mean she not as bad "yet" of the kid you hear curse at there parents or anything . But she talks back and has crossed the line acting like a total spoiled brat and thinking on telling us what to do . let alone tantrum she has (which i think part she can not help but has to learn to handle them ) she has strong signed as gifted child and behavior issue are part of it . But she needs to respect adults and also learn to deal with this behavior . My oldest can you say spoiled i think .. she would not drive my van to mall when meeting some friends because she don't like my van .REALLY !!!!!

So another week .. another season down

So our softball has ended best as it ends for us . Did you know you can basically play any sport all year now , softball,soccer, hockey ,basketball you name it you can do it . We play in a dome on Sunday oldest does and practices once a week . Please middle one will practice once a week also and fill in on a dome team ... so oldest team which is 16u took first in the state at 18u top team in state yah go girls ! The girls played four games but they and their team just could not pull it though .
So girls have about 4 weeks off then basketball start but middle daughter playing tennis right now then possible volleyball . oldest still playing ball a few days a week and then will start hockey in a month or so also .
so i always think am going to have all this time and look forward to it like you know to clean widows or closets or something but no . so far not this week . first Randi don't get home to 6 each night with school and tennis . then so many school meeting it crazy mission trip , hockey parent meeting , school meeting , never ends .. i don't regret it or hate it just wish i could have a clean house and more time to buy milk or what ever . hehe

Happy Monday!

Bring it on.. not a busy week just the usually craziness but need to get a lot of cleaning done but i can get everything in order ...

SomeTimes I Want To Scream !!

Am just Frustrated with my family , with live i guess mine . I keep trying to keep positive and well just there another wall . Every time i get something in saving something comes up . Everyone time i think i have a minute something else comes up . I do truly think am blessed and all things work out in the end but how far can you push the blessing ?I feel i do 100% around here ok .99.5% hehe . ok just frustrated maybe by monday i feel better .

Happy Fall !!

I like fall it bring change and i think change is good . I love the crispy air , changing leave colors , .fall breeze , bon fires ,footfall games . Here it is the start of basketball , hockey and dome ball season .. we are full swing back to school and shorter days . I love sweatshirt weather . I think of apples, pumpkin ,hay and corn when i think of fall and Halloween almost here .

We had so much fun ..

When the girls where born 10 yr ago now with Aaron 9 at time and nikki 6 . we would make sure they had one on one time most weekly with at least one of us .. as they where taking over life as we know it . Then when girls started school we try to do thing one on them with them to keep them seprated as they only 10 month a part and at that time same grade . but they have grown into doing a lot the same things. same softball teams , basketball teams ,school, church . so that has ened for a while as i would have three night a month free or 4 to have one on one with them . but in aug dani wanted twins ticket for her birthday so we got her three and she took us . she saved some of her money from her birthday so she could spend what she wanted. she bought a twin hat and brandz thingy .. and had a lot of fun .. and a great game . It was fun to see her be an only child for a night and just spend time with mom and dad together . lov u Dani ! happy 10th birthday !!

Fundraiser overload

first i have three in school(3 different schools ) one in clue sports , high school sport so am in over load ...
first beside time working different things to raise money .. ok i can handle a day here or there working area cubs or hockey rink so i don't have to sell . But all the selling killing me .
we have two pointsetas sales, ad pages ,Herberger gift cards, magazines, and cookies and wrap and bread . really ! sorry crazy . i used to feel there needs to be an op out . i actual got our grade school to do that and kids even get prices if they do . how do i let one sale another not . like clue team money goes toward her trips and cost . so more willing to do a little not much tho . why do i want other pay for my kid to play sports right ? i cannot do it it is to much .. how you let one kid sell and not other .. am sure i am going to run into that .. ok feel better with my vent ..

Can we Spoil our children ?

So my oldest Daughter i think sometimes does understand what we give up for her . What her sibling give up ? Is it far ? Is to much to much ? Should they understand ? Should they be grateful do they know what it means at 10 or 16 . Or is it good enough for them to know when adult .I think we give her a lot . I don't want to change it and made a understand we do this but I just sometimes want her to understand it a lot . A little frustrated with her .she does not get 300.00 here and 200.00 here . ok enough for now . Just trying to understand what they should know or not .

Friday night what you moms do ....................

well am pretty tired but as a mom never ends i running (three stores) around looking for a the special graphing calculator my oldest daughter need . why do they need one that cost anywhere from 100 to 150.00 really ? if she lose it am going to beat her ... she very very spacey drives me crazy ,one of her last spacey things was i gave her the card to go put gas in car and she drop card somewhere before leaving our house as she trying to do to many things (which i dont feel is good as a teen driver ) it was out side by car on ground ahhhhh! child . am sure the girls are tired after first week poor randi has not been getting home until some days 8pm. Things to be going pretty well and everyone seems to be doing well . Aaron got now 3 weeks down of 2nd year in college girls one week down .. on a roll here .
We have only had one morning break down and possible one night break down .. so not to bad ...
So this week end my oldest daughter nik 16 has one of these $1,000 babies to care for for the week end .. ok so it was turn on at 4pm to 6pm (the teacher was nice to turn it off from 6 to 11) as it was the first football game of season at school and she dont want them there .so i already at 450 got a call saying the baby wont stop eatting , i been feeding her for 12 minutes . then she got home and said she had to pull over four times lol.so we see how this goes . do i think it helps keeps teens from getting prego ? nik say she really dont want kids and exspical young . she not a kid kid of kid . still how do we prevent teen prego ? she does had a old friend was friends with in middle school that just had a bady last month . 16 no way . at her old high school there where 8 teen prego last year . more on this after i fill out form for parents ..

First Day of School .............. We are on our way and running or should say

Hockey , Tennis. Basketball and oh lets first finish softball season . Oh and the last Violin . ok not that bad . lets see the first mishap of first day . everyone make it home in almost reasonably time frame Nik left her car lights on so needed a jump . Randi bus was late this morning and letting pick up at school after . so little late and oh she could not fine her locker all day ? don't ask . final got a teacher to open it . hopeful she works all that out . Dani well she had a good day , Queen of the school . so easy plus she had Randi teacher from last two years. Am excited for them i just don't want time to go to fast .
I enjoyed my first day of no school ager quiet nap and oldest her was a young 3 wow and three 2yr old it was fun .

Sunday already .... no sleep in tomorrow but that ok

i got to sleep in last two days . that was nice . got a few things i wanted done . not all i hope to get girls clothes(closets) done then i be happy . but have to take oldest some where for softball early make a run to Target and maybe Walgreen's and grab some brats for dinner . then i be good .Am excite about first week of school and starting new curriculum for my group . now if i can enroll a few more kids i be one happy camper . And really excited about my job , it just funner with more kids .
Again am tired and stressed i hate sleep over . i think i decide tonight wishing i did not say yes to the sleep over is i have less control then i do with my childcare kids and our routine . i mean you know i like children so why no sleep over , birthday party it cause i don't have as much control . i like teaching Sunday school and i even do a Halloween party each year for my kids friends . but it all routine and contole. sleep over no routine , no control . am sorry makes me not like kids . ok not that bad maybe i just dont like kids over 5 ?
so i love fall so it like a fresh start some feel in spring and new begining fall does the same to me. clean widow , curtins ,pond and yard all the closet . happy fall !

Randi going to middle school wow

6th grade here she comes .Am still worry if we made right choice by letting her skip a grade . Breath . her test score are still off charts and she in top math class . so i guess she 1/2 ready . but is she physical and mentally ready ?Are any of them ?Many changes girls be in different school for the first time in 5 years . they wont have each other as they had always been able to fall onto . i will have 4 children in 4 different school Elementary , middle , high school and college OK don't laugh am as am writing this . Are kids go from a little school of less then 500 and know everyone and every teacher as we been there for ever and all teacher have watch my girls grow up . now she going to a school with like 2500 kids hug cross over whole school to classes . locker the fear of the lockers ! every 6th grader has here . she excited as i hope she been . Onto the next open house tomorrow . and everyone back in school in a week ...

genetics or enviroment which will win ?

I believe environment . my son showing me this . he know he has an addicting personalty in a 19 year old way . and he has decide not to drink or use any drugs as he has this personality and a family history . wow that amazing to me as i would not ever got that at 18 and 19 yrs old .As Friday i pick him at the train from school he says i have great role models and i say who ? he said you and dad ...

Monday .. Bring the begining of a new week and ......

Well 5 more days of work until the school ager head back to school ..i think moms should never work 5 days . we need 3 days week ends to get everything done . dont you think !
so we had my youngest 10 birthday party at the beach it went really well and she had a lot of fun ..glad it over it is weird i have kids in my house 50 hours a week but hate birthday party , sleep over weird . so this week we have open house and finish everything for school

Some of you know my 2nd job as i call it couponing !

A little back ground i started couponing and got hooked a few years back when dh was losing his business . And i was thinking of getting a part time job . ok part time job what it going to pay pre week 200 most i be lucky and well time i dont have away from my family as they all in school now . so our food bill was like $1,200 or so a month . firs thing i did is got rid of milk man and Simmons . then i started clipping and watching add . But then i started ready amazing blogs and site on coupons . match up on sale and coupon. i learn how to stock pile items we use all time . like cereal ? peanutbutter , soup in winter .
so here an example last night i went to target, Walgreen's ,rainbow and cub .. they are very close like cross street from each other or have to pass to go home so no big trip running here or there.
so first Rainbow check sale match up coupons
6 gm cereal
1pk cottontail tp
strawberry jelly
1 lean cuisine
2 bag cat food
Paid.44cents plus got a free milk and free eggs
so this is how it works
buy 6 gm cereal save 10 off instant and get free milk and eggs
i had a free gm cheerio coupon and used 2 $1off 2 gm cereal and .75 off one and it doubles coupons on wed. (so it took $21.oo off 6 boxes cereal )so they paid me to buy the cereal i used my over toward other items . cat food was free as i had a free coupon that expire on 9/1
i have 1/1 lean cuisine and they on sale for 1.88 which gave me overage .12 cents
cottontail was on sale 1.88 double a .50 coupon making it after double .88
so it came to .44
Then i hit Target i paid 3.15
pack of gum
bag of carrot
1lb or 2 cherry
2 tee for me to sleep in they are so so soft
2 mini loaf bread
3 pks of del fruit cups
2 sobe
1 coffee creamer
2 bic pack pencil
2 shampoos

then i headed to cub same parking lot
first i bought 10 items and paid 10.43 and got back 10.00
wes oil
6 ken dressing free on sale 10/10 had 1 off coupon
6 pams 1/1 plus cub instant .50 when buy 10 items
2 reddi wip 1/1
1 chicken pop pie 1/1
then i took that 10 and went and got
5 12pk pop on sale 1.76
2 pack goldfish (need for party and on sale 10/10) had .50/1
Oscar my bacon sale 2.99 plus 1/1 coupon
one bag hot chip for dd she gave me a 1.00
5lb potatoes sale .98
paid 4.00

then on way home hit Walgreen's
6 Butterfingers candy bars sale 2/1 minus 1/2 coupon so free
8 stuffer mac and cheese and hot pockets sale 1.50 each 1/1 each plus get 5.00 back
so i spent 5.00 cash and got 5.00 back to use next time .

so there my part time job in a nut shell .
i try now to keep my budget to $400 a month in summer and 250.00 in winter while kids are in school
ps i pick up my free milk and eggs to use today and tomorrow hard boil eggs anyone ................

So i spent 22.00 and i saved 120.00 plus a free milk 3.25 free eggs 1.75 and have a 5.00 cat grant total of 130.00 saving .

it just never end !!

I guess that what happen when have 4 kids and still raising them . I have had so many extra bill this summer and they are still coming . Oldest need extra 400.00 tonight for book when am already saving up 800 to 900 for oldest as she needs that for ball in a week or two . Plus two out of town trips.Ahh just want to scream or give up . Then my job stressing me as am cutting income in 1/2 in a week . ok just needed to scream for a minute !!

Well another week end to end and just two well three things on my mine

First, two weeks until school starts .. that all i have to say 10 more days of day care with my children . yahoo !!!
ok then there this little issue i am tired of picking up things on the floor around house of the kids . i was thinking a quarter for ever idea i have to put away??? something needs to give . i mean they pick up big messy and all but really do i have to go around and pick up things in every room and put them away that i did not take out .. ok done with my rant !
Then there a little issue called money . you know my oldest goes to private school which hum cost me a new car each year that all i tell you how much it cost but then there thing call travel ball she plays and well that cost another car each year . when enough enough. am sure just stressing over it and will all work out .
nite all !!!

My Baby10 today ... no more single number children

10 years today . Aaron was 9 Nicole 6 and Randi 101/2 months hehe and then Dani came along . Randi need a play mate and my husband knew she was going to be a boy But Danielle Michelle is a girls . she is a tom boy and loves outdoor like her dad and brother . she got the kind heart and really know right from wrong (except when it comes to her sister ). she is a mommy girls like my son also . she going into 5th grade this year and we having a beach party next Saturday with her friends .. hope gets warm again ..........She loves softball and basketball . loves the twins and cake boss. (she got twins ticket for her birthday )she an awesome kid. Happy Birthday my baby girl.!
sometimes it a little sad them growing up . it the best thing i will do is raise my children but it hard to give them their wings to fly .............. i love you Dani

Where that parenting book you have when you kids are babies ?

i need oneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! i am struggling and when am struggling i start to 2nd guess my parenting and what we are teaching our children . i 2nd guess my value iam teaching my kids . i want them to be greatful and understand they are lucky for what they have . never to take it for granted . am i sure i am doing that ?nope! maybe just the age 19,16 and 10 they are now . My husband and i work both very hard for what we have and what we can do for our children . maybe i am wrong but sometimes as older they get i want them to know what i do Scarface for them . i mean i believe it my job to as am a parent and choice to have children but i think we go beyond what we have to do . ?maybe i am thinking wrong . my husband and i have gave up a lot for our children with private school and traveling sports . time and money come with both of these . i would not change a thing and mostly i believe we are raising great children but boy some days i like to see these great children in my home !!
maybe summer getting to me and i am ready to start new school year , or maybe i just see to much of my lovely four children . son will leave this sat or Sunday i mean as he has to work this week end and head to school for the first week back in college . oldest daughter my bright , smart beautiful 16 year old daughter will be a jr in high school . and the girls 10 well Dani 10 Wednesday . Randi is going into 6th grade middle school , new school new classes to channeling her, musical instrument and new faces of a whole new world , ps i hate middle school with first two it was rough . and we already having issue with her and her gifted behaviors coming out and having issue controlling them . or maybe the mature not there so we will see how many times we be at school . god help us ! little D 10 also going through something Major anger not sure how to help her or even sometime how to handle it . so hopeful we can have a pretty peaceful rest of summer .21 more days meaning hay 14 more work days before school get here and starts wow ! my job becomes easier once the children are all set in school .

Sunday start of the week or end of the week end ...

So Sunday night i reflex on the week to come , in our house never easy going in 101 direction. kids are still enjoying the summer . son last week home then i drop him off at college again for his 2nd year . amazing . Then i reflex on the week end which also full of 101 things . my oldest just make some big choice on here softball career. she tried out for the top team in her age group in the state and she made it . This was not a easy choice she going to give up some good best friend she played with for the last 41/2 year . plus great family we have grown to love as family and good friends . This choice comes with specifics for her and us as a family more time for her and more time for us , more money and travel . (i know how can we manage anymore right ) . This team more a long her college dreams playing ball . she only got two more years left .
Side note my two younger girls are driving me crazy both need angery managment classes and need to stop the screaming around here .
R gets so focus on something she can not stop until it fixed , done or she happy about it , it crazy . not sure how to help her deal with this she filps .

so we can breath but still i think i just want this month over

so the car back . i am still pissed that this women does not get in no trouble .i sure don't understand sometimes . it crazy if you ask me .oh my how do you protect your children from people like this . he was just being a good guy helping a friend out when this friends mom took total advance of him . for all you parents that have children say under 10 please remember this phase will pass and they will be one of your easier times in parenting. i keep asking my self this last year from my son going to 18 to 19 when do you stop parenting , do we ever . i am still close to my parents ? we are blessed nothing happen and everything ok . a little parking ticket we have to pay .

what a day !

now where to start or how to explain . my son a lovely good kid , giving and always as husband say want to be the hero , help everyone .................... well this time it got to him . i always say he take in all stray animals ...
well his friends mom took his car and has not returned it. it been hum 30 hours now . left my son 19 , 16 year old daughter and 8 yr old son home alone and just never came home . never called tell her daughter where she at . omg i wanted to kill this women . first how do you take something and not return it . say your going to store and not come back for a day or two .. at least i am thinking she show up at home soon . really how long would you leave your kids alone with out them knowing where you are . really . sorry if this is not making any senses as this does not make sense to me . crazy !! who the heck are these people really . ok really in son defence , if an adult a friends mom and say can i borrow your car to grab milk of course he going to say yes . right she going to store be right back . omg ........ ok all messed oh kicker police can not do anything for 30 days as he gave her the keys . so unless she get a ticket , or park it in wrong spot . nothing for 30 days .. until stolen. what crazy to me this is not a chain saw someone borrowed this is a car.
ok i still cannot think straight and well i better stop my heart racing again .
here the question how do i teach him to keep him self safe and not be taken for a ride !!!

well i though many time this week to post but just living in my own world .
busy with work ,busy with back to school shopping . i have two side to this one i am not sure all the over dose of back to shopping .but on other hand i like to get it out of way and not worry for another 6 month or year until someone needs something . (ok with 4 kids never that long with out someone needing something ) i already know in a few month one needs a new jacket for sure and possible another basketball shoes . so my middle daughter was bugging me last few weeks about back to school shopping and well i decide to bit bullet and said 100.00 each little ones so i take three girls shopping one spent all money , other spent 60% or so and other spent her 60% also plus got uniform pants (see this dont count in budget hum their or mine ......... hehe i love to hate uniforms by the way i would say i spend around 200.00 on them plus a few more sprit clothes a year so 300.00 but to hate as i need to buy here everyday clothes as she has dress down days ,week end fun things so we have to buy two sets of clothes.
so here where my heart is torn i love back to school shopping , i think every child deserves to feel good about going back to school and if and it does have to do with looking nice and wearing new items .
so what should be spent on back to school shopping ?
i say 4 kids three and son in college he dont cost much like i buy hair cut, shoes and sock ? that about it for him.
but three girls shoes usually two pairs like running or basketball and everyday . one is usually cheap other kind of spendy . then clothes , uniforms and then school supplies . not sure i want to add ....................
ok now am depressed and nothing in saving this month i see .
i really dont go over board either , one daughter youngest spent all here money one outfit pants , shirt and sweatshirt , other shirt and shoes all for 100 . that just example does anyone else hate spending 40 to 50 for sweatshirts for there kids (these are school ones , sport ones and or name brand ones they all want . ) crazy three sweatshirt 100 or more ..
ok off my rage of school shopping .....................

well back to work back from vacation and well i enjoy having time off

i missed the girls a little but it was nice break from us and they had a blast . thanks mom for help taking them while we where gone .
37 days left before school start and wow a lot to do first open house tonight , many doctor appointments and shopping . uniforms to buy never ends does it .
my son goes back in two weeks to college and moving to a new college .
My youngest daughter dani will be 10 this month .
so much going on ...

Blah , tired, sinus head ach i want a nap !

and i should be cleaning and packing leaving tomorrow after work for 5 days to KY to watch oldest daughter play ball ..
am still having anxiety about driving through the night and leaving the girls home with grandma for that many day . she can barley handle them for a few hours . i know they are nine and ten but they fight and it hard to deal with .. Randi has her own anxiety that stresses everyone out . it will be fun and a nice break from them from us . am closed until next tuesday .

Another week gone in summer gone ,down ............

wow it almost august already. our summer fly by with three in travel ball . son goes back to college in 4 weeks and the girls go back to school in like 6 weeks (oldest 5 weeks )
so oldest still gone with out us in KS she does not seem as home sick yesterday afternoon and today . or maybe she stop telling me that i said i was glad she missed us a little ...........? little girls in a tournament and guess what we have to be at fields at 7am ick i get tired of never i mean never sleeping pass 6:30 .. oh well some day i wont have anything to get up for so am grateful i do now .

i know i should not say this but what else could go wrong

well i guess wrong is the wrong word but first thing the morning i do what i do each day balance my check book and oldest daughter school took school payment twice 0ch and they actual say i own it which i think i do but i have never in four years had to make a double payment .just i just pay 12 months all year round etc ahh ok kind of got that fixed
my oldest in KS with out us and she home sick or her team sick or mom sick something and i feel bad . she there with another team playing and it was hard enough to send her with out me and or husband but she wanted to go and now she misses us .. poor thing .
The girls are fighting ready to sell them or something and we have a crazy next few days . they play in a tournament during the day thur and fri and then the week end . then Tuesday we going to leave in middle of night for KY to play more softball . thur , fri sat and Sunday ........ should be fun but a long 14 hour trip each way . having a little anxiety about it all drive , money oh yah we leaving girls at home with my mom . worry they wont behavior as they don't for me ...
just feeling a little over whelm today with it all ...
oh yah have interview tonight hope they show i called they say we still set but Monday change mine and only told me after i called her . hum

The week end blow by of course on a softball field and in my yard !

Hehe all the rain and windy my area had . all fine here ... Oldest daughter gone for a week with out us .. can say anxiety playing softball in KS Kaunas city . not much to report just trying to get through a few more softball trips and rest of summer .. kind of blah right now ..
worry about my son and next year in college i just don't want him to go two years or three and drop out and not really complete anything . am not sure how to guild him . i just remember around early middle school just hoping i get him through high school . now he starting his 2Nd year in college and well not sure he getting anywhere and completely understand what it all cost . how do you get him to see this and this is his future ?

Anyother busy week here

wow tomorrow already Thursday and i feel once again am a week be hide . am not sure how people do it all . with our busy life with three kids at home, work 50 hours , cleaning ,shopping ,appointments , softball .. that all i need to get back to do something i really should be doing .................

Happy Anniversary !

Well 17 years ago walked down a little church wedding with around 100 guess on a very hot day .. four brides maids and groom men . my Dad walked me down the isle and my parents gave me away .. Really what that mean . lol nice big party after . this story started 5 years to that day before as i knew my husband 5 yr to day before marriage .
So let be honest not sure how we made it this far and if we make it to the end . marriage is not easy every day .. well daily lively easy but long term seems harder . i do love my life and what we have together and share together but i wonder sometimes is it enough and what will happen in 10 or 20 years from now .. i know my husband would say dont worry about tomorrow and maybe i shouldn't . i know tho for us we get tied up in daily living and forget to be grateful for what right in front of us .. last year we tried to change a few small things but didnot really change anything and got back to living daily crazy life of raising four children .
i would not change a day up today as i am so grateful for our children and the life we have for them . (ok ok so what we do on 17th wedding Anniversary. ) i spent in Mankato with the girls playing ball and husband spent in mound with oldest daughter playing ball . thats what we done last five years at a ball field . we did go to dinner tonight with a gift card my mom gaves us .
so darling husband went out Saturday morning before we all had to leave and got me coffee , card and flowers . it was very sweet .
his card says "for our anniversary i got you this card that 'll remind you of me ........... (turn over doesnot open)it doesn't do what it is supposed to do either ....................

Am truely Greatful but i just wish sometimes ..............

What would yours be? mine be a little more money each week . i just once wish i could have more in savings , not worry about paying bills everyday bills , college bills and sport fees and private school . OK some of these are choices . so if i did not have any of these bills hum i have a lot more money each month to put into saving but these are things i have chosen to be important to our family . we don't drive new car we don't shop a lot we don't eat expensive foods . am actual pretty frugal that areas.
Am not sure it the choice we made over the years or the trades we are in or just plan simply had 4 kids why we don't have extra money . Is it something we learned ? i grow up in a house with money issue so why am i follow the same ? DH did not ? will our kids .
Don't get me wrong and it always works out and am grateful for the bills to complain about and the kids expenses to complain about

19th Birthday hapy birthday my first and only son

wow so weird we did not have dinner together , cake nothing . he left for camping trip with 6 friends (3 girls ) 4 guys omg mom anxiety lol . i had to think back when i went camping first time with boy girls i was 16 then continue until late teens .
so 19 years ago yesterday my water broke , and today at 2:52pm my son was born . he was 6lb 19oz 19inch long . i was so in love ,never could never know i could love something . he finish high school , 2nd year in college . where did that little busy soccer player or hockey player go...
i am very proud of the choices he made he a good kid , so far not much trouble . a huge heart sweet kind caring and loving kid and friend.
i was thinking though other day when do i stop worrying .. am i making to may choice for him still ? i just want to guild him to adulthood . weird as i was so on my own when i was 19 . not sure i made right choices and if i had more support it would of made better ones ?(my parents where there the best they could be at that time in there life. am not sure choice i make for him as i couldnot tell you know so maybe that not right word ..
well anyway i love you aar bear happy 19th birthday !!!!

So maybe teens are not so bad

it all control i know am a mother of control and i hate feeling out of control am sure that seems from my child hood as i had no control in an additive family . i had to create my own control (another post ) back to control of teen my son will be 19 on Monday i know i know i am only 25 still Carnot be right but he is . so first this week end which we are out of town he wanted some friends to stay here hum (two girls ) hum not when we are not home ok so they decide 6 of them are going camping just hit me boys girls camping . i know i know am getting old and so are they . i think the first time i went camping boys and girls i was 16 .
now my 16 yr old having a fit she got to come with us this week end and wants to stay home . now we did at 16 leave our son partly home for the week end but different children different sex ? maybe any way maybe next year i might die of a panic attack but some day i need to let her free .
Really am the kind of parent that lets her children have a enough room to hang them self a little with out hopeful getting to hurt and can still be there to pick up pieces . i grow up and so did dh with no rules tons of freedom to do what we wanted when and where . i think i want to find and keep the middle ground for our children . i hope we are

Along week end so i final make it back here

i love watching my children . i would not rather be doing anything else but 26 hours of softball in two day no no just kidding not on the 26 hours but on complaint . it was enjoyable , hot, wet and exciting . my girls are so dedicated , supporting to each other .we are head to another week end of softball and out of town . some one told me today boy you need a "real" vacation and yes that be nice but for now are vacation is travel with our girls to play ball . no this is not for everyone but it our choice and they will only be little once .soon before we know it they be gone off to college and there own life .

Do you ever feel like your losing control of your life

our at least your children and what happen in your house .. Well i know am in control am the parent....... i got all that but everyone once in a while for a few minute i feel like i am looking at someone else life cause i know my kids would not act like that !

Friday always bring the same in the summer

for softball and more softball , hitting a busy week coming , we have around 10 games this week end and i think 6 during week and 5 more over 4th week out off town. i wonder why my house is never clean enough and we always running out of food and milk !
Fridays i try to get things in order for the week end like make sure all wash done , bathrooms clean and floors done to make week end easy . we also have a grad party we try to hit .

An other mother vent !! sorry

why does not anyone know how to pick up after them self , drop your sock , drop and leave you phone charger anywhere then except me to know where i put it when i picked it up as it was out during daycare . ahh
how about why can not any one put toilet paper on the roll.
am busy and hey kids your not preschooler anymore .enough .........
am just really busy last week and this so kids help ! ok i feel better ...

sunday always bring a sadness as my family time over

and it the start of the work week and craziness with work added in . As my week end are very busy and crazy but we spend it as family almost ever week end with the three girls .. We spend many hours every week end and week days watching our girls play ball . this time is short until they are grown and i would not ask for one of this day back . But then there Monday and am a mom to 8 other children 50 hours a week and my children are not just mine anymore as now am a mother to 10, 12 or 14 during the day . so some days brings a sadness . i really don't mine and i love my job and am very glad for my job and these other 8 or 10 kids and there families. But summer i love to have more time to spend with my our children . now am lucky i take two weeks off and even hire extra help to have the time to my self or for my children but there a price to pay for all this .
Looking at college for my oldest daughter wow am not ready i feel am still getting used to my son going to college this is his 2nd year starting in Aug but this week is private college week and have tours all week . i am going to try to hit a day or two of these school if i can work it out . but that time and money so we will see .
well off to bed it been a long week with my wonderful three daughter in Sioux fall for some ball .

My 100 post

Well that not why i came to post .i came to post as a parents why or when did children think it ok not to get the answer no ! really when we where told no did we act like our children or should say mine . where did it all go wrong . when did children think everything belongs to them or entitle to them ? yes we all know some adults like this i think with a little younger generation then me think that but i sure did not want to raise my kids that way ?
i think my kids are not spoiled but privileged in some way private school , comp sports , lot of parent involvement . i try to make sure they are not "spoiled " . like my middle child will ask if we go to store for a treat will if she ask then next time and this time answer no . i will by you a treat when i feel you get extra one or if think you need one . not just because you ask . not sure i am phasing that correctly but you get what i mean . by no mean my children have best clothes or toys . on other hand they have a lot . but we only buy for holiday birthday and holidays .
But the word No seems to be taken hard around her. is it only my spoiled children or just a learning process they have to learn .
Well we are going out of town for one of our daughter tourament for the week end so hope all well and not to many melt down from the three girls !

Labels Labels i hate Labels But

first i hate label children .. i hated my son being label and of course doctor where always changing it and adding other would say oh no it this not this . he had ever 3 letter dio you could think off .. ok he now almost 19 and i see issue still but he come so far and i am positive he will over come all . now to my middle daughter am at a lost . her behavior is so bad right now .i am at wits end . she on the "gifted side " but i hate that label or any . i am trying positive to curve her behavior in a positive light but she making it hard . and she pulls this card everyone hates me , you hate me ,why everyone hate me .my son did this and then you start to feel bad (well i do ) .
here how to descibe here

To her........
a touch is a blow
a sound is a noise
a misfortune is a tragedy
a joy is an Ecstasy
and failure a death
by pearl buck
a little into her feeling
to me i read it and it everything so big when it happen instead like most of us take it as life (she takes everything so personal ) even when say no ! the intense sensitivity is killing me here conbo with other issue am at a lost .
there so many issue i could touch on here another issue we have right now and been for a while she is so argumentative and manipulative (i just figure it out did not know she was being manipulative ) they usually called future layers so much she actual wants to go into law . not sure to cry or laugh here .
This list could go on and issue we have could go on more another day am sure . I pray every night for god to help me raise guide this child with out hurting her (i dont mean physical ) metally as i just don't always know the answer .
I promise there are so many positive things about her she is lucky to have this characteristic if she learn to live with them and use them correctly . if i don't kill her first ! just kidding
mostly i really chock it up to being a preteen testing the water here at mom the talking back but it so more intense with her . i mean she not the first or last child am raising so hello dd ...... then i worry like with my son his behavior would effect my other children behavior and am worried her behavior effect my youngest daughter .

This is a dear John letter so warning might want to stop reading now !

Dear youngest daughter please stop leaving your trash , clothes trail across the house . Stop sassy back and bring angry when you don't want to be talk to .
Dear middle daughter your not 16 or 21 your 10 stop pushing to grow up so fast and stop talking to us like you do no you can not shave , wear make up or any other these things . we think about cell as your going to middle school in fall.
Dear oldest daughter as you are driving now i except more responsibility and as a driver your still 16 and this is not just freedom .
Dear son if you don't work some kind of real job this summer i am going to make your life horrible at home and work your butt off here . also i except you to be taking care of your busy like setting up classes and stuff you need to take care of ..
Dear husband do i even start ?? just kidding but really a little help be real nice around here . This is nothing new or nothing you heard before still waiting for it to happen .. these towels each day don't wash them self or the dinner clean up oh wait how about the floors ?

Well all i can the bump worked out

first good news well all good and new chapter in our life . First oldest Daughter driving . Get off the road ! she a true Bondie and it is a little scary .... new rules now must apply driving does not freedom at the rogers ....
ok we say good by to my husband business and all it dept. a little sad and a little scents of faller am sure but other hand am feel good about it .... lastly my son applied to St cloud as a transfer student so hope all goes well . seems it will and am making him do most so we will see if i can stick to it .. on to my busy week end to come 12 plus softball games and wash that about it oh no a grad party and a softball end of school ball season party .. have a good week end all

Bump in the Road , Rain it pours why always

Every time i think going a long good something .something just happen ! i know shit happen but no it nothing to big all little beeps in life .that all i have to say tonight !

Well long week end comes to end and a few thoughts

first am thankful for the men , women and family that serve and stand next to others that serve . i know many and many family but a small part of me is thankful my son not over serving right now . i still will stand next to him supporting him for he pick to join and serve . but a small part of me as a mom to let my baby boy serve .. but am thankful for all that have and all the family that miss a love one . My middle daughter just did a report for evening at school on support the military . i was pruond and she came to a more understanding .
4 more days and my oldest daughter should be driving on her own . am i ready is she ready . sure hate driving with her . not sure who going to die first her or me ........................
here a good thing about having children 10yr apart the two alders can help teach the other two to drive . right?? might try .
know that list i think i talked about getting down well i should of posted it here as i didnot get any done ! oops but it was good to know do much of anything . i need to kick but tomorrow my 1/2 day and this week going to fly on by .........
busy and crazy week coming at the Rogers house
5th grade grad....
softball game
hockey practice
softball practice
12 softball games coming this week end
one going to college hopeful he can get in his first pick ! (he transferring we hope)
one taking driving test hopeful she pass is above i dont want want to drive with her anymore .....
ok busy up and down week to come and oh yah got to work to some where in there ........

Well made it through the week

we all did . many things i love to get done this long week end so we will see how it all goes .. everyone good . Dh working sat and Sunday and hopeful fishing Monday (he deserves it ) me went out last night for my mommy birthday .. now sent to work shopping first couponing this morning . then clean up a little finish wash and make dinner for tonight .then tomorrow start on yard work and take girls to movies . then more house work . (that list ) enjoy all i will

It is only tuesday and i need the week end to come !

i have only work 1/2 day so far this week but this week and next is crazy busy ! so i have had in three days 8 softball games and one tomorrow also , took on to dentist , wash uniforms hum and towels three times already in three days . and a school functions tomorrow night . and it only Tuesday ! crazy . ok tired and load in dryer now so off to bed and start tomorrow all over .

Towels , sock and uniform guess it

Laundry omg i always have some much it never ends her . softball uniforms , sock and towels . three girls make so much laundry and a mess .
Well another busy tire week end and Monday here already all i can say .

Names will never hurt but they do and when and how to protect your children

why oh why do kids call each other names . so my littlest came home two days a week and told her sis (10 months older 10yr old ) some kids called her a homo (i am not sure how to ever spell that ) well middle daughter of course told us . i feel bad as if you know Dani she the sweetest most Innocent kid you know . really she does not even know what that means . sometime i wish i could keep them in a big bubble . oh yah it all over a pair of socks that have rainbow on them really ? i remember the day someone called my son gay , he had a sweat shirt on that had words gap on it (kids said it stands for gay and pride ) ahh why are kids mean to each other . how to protect them from other mean kids and even worst to make sure our kids done grow up to be one of these kids .
well another busy week- end 5 softball games or 6 on a nice sunny weekend love it

So we got the bad news he not a match anymore

so we will see how this plays outs . we still might do the exchange programs still a long long shoot. Otto finds a match but we will see . it almost a feel of let down and i told them what we have been doing for the last few weeks . even as it bad news we wanted them to know we where trying just not standing by letting him die with out thinking of them . so knew phase will come . keep prays for this family and if Brian meant to help then he will find a match .

Our we someone Hero

the plea for our friends is called a hero for otto .. finding him a hero . we should no tomorrow . my husband called Monday and she was off today and was told to call tomorrow . my husband has as much anxiety to tell them as i do . we decide we are telling him (them his wife Amy) even if we not his hero. even if we are a go tomorrow (bloods mixing as i call it ) we already are a match then next part even harder (i guess on 3%) chance you find someone . oops lost track Brian has to go through all the physical and metal testing . they make sure he will never need this kidney ever and he physical able to recover and be healthy for a long time plus even might have to do metal testing . could you be someone hero you really don't knows . honesty i am not sure i could . of course i would do it for a family member parents , children sibling but some one you don't know or barley know ? like my husband said i talk to man a few times (us mom talks more of course as we are woman and have common bond being a moms . spent many weekend at a ball park together and my husband with our oldest and so he not always there.
Is my husband their hero . i guess today the person contact person said to tell them as otto body could go anytime . ok enough of that
like talk about college student back living at home ! do i say more going well working i think no he the poor person that delivery million phonebooks to your door step . what a job lots of hard work but pay seems well . so we will see how it goes . how long it last .
almost driving teen say anymore there .... counting days down to school ends .
Peer teens well they are driving me crazy they are both over tired and it driving me crazy.. when did you first shave ? my kind of rules middle school or of course hair under arm well Randi remember a year or two of her peers wants to shave so so bad and ahh i guess i should let her but why have to grow up so early and want to do all these grow up things when you should be playing with dolls and beads still .
well good nite am tired and hope son home soon so we can all be tucked in tight for the night

my world still mine

Is not that funny you can never get away from your self . actual i have grown to like my self and my life . we don't have a lot but am good for it and seems to always work out and i think we give our children a pretty good life . at least i hope they grow up and think so . i wish other in my life could figure this out at 40 and 60 or what ever age they are at . well it was a wonderful week end , great weather , softball and yard work . and (we did not talk about the donor or the transplant or what you like to call it . ) i think it was on our mines a little as we where hoping the next step will be next week . which i think the scares for Brian (my husband ) it just the full physical . he always thinks he dieing of something (makes me laugh actual ) but never goes to doctors . so it a catch 22 there . i think what was lining on us is it about time for us to tell them . maybe give them some hope or let them know before they run into each other at the U . that be funny well not but a little . we discuss if we didn't tell anyone and they just both disappear for the same amount of weeks (during softball season when we see them 4x a week or more and all the same families and all gone for around 4 to 6 weeks ) how about the hospital am i going to hide from her while my husband in one room and her in other . ok we decide problem not a good idea and what we have read or should say Brian read it important to most .
enough of that too more i am sure this week .
life goes on still raising 4 kids two teens and two preteens ,dealing with smart mouth , dating , finding jobs , driving and well just all the hills and bumps life gives as parents. i wouldnot trade it for a minute .

Really not a great week for anxiety

ok first last post to update but anxiety waiting for blood to mix and how this is going to change our life (biggest thing is money worry but what if ) really am not worried about what if but what if . if that make sense . i could not do this i dont think if we where the ones waiting for the body part to keep my husband alive . no way . we are doing something safe on our part and a few thousands buck not going to kills up right .
my car my car has decide to break boohoo and we where not sure what wrong with it . it not playing nice ... giving us mix signs dumb shit car!
my son moved back home maybe just for summer , maybe for a year or two . he does not want to go back to hibbing it to far away . he thinking 4yr st cloud ? they have a good law enforcement program so i guess we will see in fall and possible and go look at it .
all to much to think about for in one week plus everything else my easy going non busy live has to offer . oh yah as i am writing this my middle daughter just hurt her self doing a back flip in the living room and can not walk and it hurts to breath . never a peaceful minute .
i am starting to thinking this things really dont happen in most today life's of mom , nay they do .

not sure this has to do with mom in today world but this is my life

My husband and will say darling is willing and in the process to give his kidney to some one we don't know well . there i said it . little back ground my daughter play with a girls that her dad is dieing and waiting for a kidney he has had two others one f. one was 15 yrs and other just 6 days and rejected it . he was born with a rare diese and all the meds and other issue his whole body shouting down and starting to fail so he needs one . My husband Brian has decide he will be his donor or if no a good match trade his kidney for one that does . Wow ok i am good , i understand why he doing it and we have as a family talk tons about my husband reason and i sure hope if it was us someone would step up and save my husband , child or my self . we are not worried about any medical issues or him self dying . none of that scares me or him . our kids understand it and now (there friends sister also has this and will need one also ) and my girls say we would give ours to her of course they cant but you get there point .
1# reason he cannot look this family in eye when and if he dies knowing he did not do anything .
2# if it was one of us he hope someone do the same for his family
3# he say he has selfless reason also like he did something with his life and saved someone that is amazing . (as we are goingthrought this process am not sure why more don't )
#4. many more but not getting into them no you understand the point
my only concern is my dh off work and no income for 2 months he does not get paid , not short term . vacation nothing . but that a sacrifice we have to make for another family . we will and can make it through . ..
just wanted it out more to come ............................
The family does not know and i see and talk to them 3 to 5 times a week but we are not sharing this news with Brian family or them at this time .
we did not want to share with them and give them hope as we still in first stage for this process .it weird they don't have to know who gave the kidney . the transplant can not share anything with the family unless we say . i guess so husband could pull out for any reason any time . it weird i was so excited and want to share with this family dh was a match but couldn't . it actual a little creepy as i was looking at this two men on Sunday at our daughters games sitting in out field together watching the game not know what one doing for the other . weird a little . we don't want them to feel like they are tied to us or own us anything ? nothing like that we don't want these feeling tied to it . time will tell and we will see . it like 10 in 100% and we only make it to the first round . oh yah my husband has universal blood so anyone ever need anything you know whereto look (smile )

What does it mean to me to be a mother ?

I think it is the most important job i can do . i believe it will stay with my children for ever what i do today will make them tomorrow . no no i am no where near prefect but i try to teach and resepct things from them so they will turn into good people . as my oldest say my son always says you taught me better . funny kid smart kid ! i did get a text from him today and he be home for summer or long thursday ..Bitter sweet when they come back (i save that for another day )
People other parents some not ask how i do it , i would not do it meaning spending so much time on my children . i believe my time is a sacrifice i make as a parent. ever scents my first child my life did not be come own. i am now two or three 4 and 5 . i spend a lot of time taking my kids here or there . my children play sports and before that when little we did preschool or ECFE , dance . parks and zoo's . as my husband say to me tonight after , you ready for these long week end tired Sunday nights yep ! it only a few more years then they wont need me their any more . they wont be playing sports , they may have there own families . so this time is for them . i made a choice to have children so it my job and sacrifice i make for these children am raising .
I want my children to remember i was there for them good and bad , i supported them for what they wanted to do ..
I want them to remember i loved them and loved them unconditionally matter what .

so what my blog say :
read above
happy mothers day all and iam greateful for my mother , her mother and my children that made me a mother .

it been 6 days wow time flying buy

i am busy with work , spring bring softball season for us . meaning 5 days high school practice , 3 night practice and 3 to 9 plus games a week this week i think we have 9. plus school , that little thing work . oh yah work busy here . But i am thinking about my son , it weights on me . my baby boy 18 an adult . first year of colleges behind him . he moving home .. going to school down here and live at home the next semester or two . iam ok with this he 18 . i think living at home another year a good thing . i could see him moving out in year and going to school down here . i think he first misses his friends , 2nd maybe his home , 3rd his family . we have had some freshman issue speeding ticket or two . och ! a few drop classes . (he was taking 19 credit first semester and 18 2nd that just two much for him ) we are going to move this 12 credits and see if goes better and mommy heavy hand. hehe