Me or these 4 kids

no no i am not selling them or anything or even trading them . But feels like my summer (ball season started ) 5 games this week end . which then ties into how my big product coming or was .It is i am darn to get it by next week end i have 4 days off . my first problem is tho when i have days off i feel i should be doing stuff with the kids . 2nd i seem to always have tons of other things to get done or oh my want a lazy day . but i want it done . here something i decide so i am going to try really hard to fix it . i think i have enough space for everything but it just needs a home and need to oragize it all . see i have a pretty big kitchen lots and lots of cabinet and draws and pantry . then i have a big deep closet in bathroom i could not tell you what in the back of it . sad i know (i could be using it for storage for bathroom stuff not my extra room . i have a mud room with a wall full of storage and in extra storage room down stair i have five days big cabinets for childcare in there . so need not to have everything label.Getting there i only got two cabinet finished this weekend . But at least i did something . one Cabernet i want to get oragized this week while working that help . why is it so so hard ! really i found my self thing it just an oragized thing right now .
Well lets change pace until being a mommy to teens and dating . on hand i want to trust my children other hand i don't trust any teen . i was one once lol and i want to think it was not to long ago ,do i really need to say anymore . i am not sure i posted this or not but i asked my mom other day did you worry like i do as i share my worried to her . she sad yes really it did not seem like it . i don't remember her worry ?? lol or seeing her anxiety ?hehe . i am sue did and her mom did and even before .
Well looking forward to my short busy week . enjoy yours

My Big projects

Me and my extra room .... well i am not prefect i am getting meds down slowly one i should be taking twice a day but still on once a day . and i keep forget the Vit.. so we see if we can get better there . as for my extra room i really really want to get back to it as i feel i got a lot down but i need to wait for trash day and i hate waiting . i am on for instead.
Everything go and going with the kids nothing new beside we are hitting softball season hard and fast i am looking like 7 days a week playing before we know it with the three . from may to oct i see every week filled up . which i don't mine to much . but hard to get much done .

so so so .................

i final got a lot cleaned out still have 1/2 to go but i had two rooms i wanted to finish . then i can move onto the closet. i just ran out of trash areas to put the bags . only so many can go in can each week . so more next week . but feels good . i sure hope i can get it the way i want and get rid of enough to use the extra room .
as for all about me meds suck it makes me feel icky so i hate taking them but i will give it a try for 14 plus days and see if i feel better and body get used to all this in my body .............

I can do it .!

But having a hard time wanting to ..
i am slowly moving to get my basement in order i have wanted to do this for years but it has become a huge hoarder stock pill of out grown stuff , craft stuff , pantry stuff you name it oh yah don't forget all daycare stuff . why so so hard to get rid of stuff . i promise to fill at least a few trash bags today and clean one cabinet ! at least it a start .
two days or three now of taking all my new meds i have a head ach scents starting them i sure hope that goes away and actual forgot one yesterday and decide to take Vitim's every other day lol . ok it a work in progress i hate taking meds and pills . all the meds are like long tern resolutes which is hard for an instant person like me . so we will see i said i will give two weeks and see where am at then . Iam, just whinny so i go and try to do some where . i love just to lay around and do nothing today but i did that yesterday afternoon after running around in morning .

Can I do it !

other decade gone and i see so many changes coming . the ones everyone can see like my oldest dear son left for college almost a year down . he will never know how proud i am of him . This tiny amazing boy has grown into a man . reasonable , amazing wonderful man . don't get me wrong he is 18 but he has done a great job so far . (it think more mom needs to let him grown up and left him alone . (ok maybe that wont be one of the changes if you read my other blogs about my children )
Also this decade my oldest daughter Nicole will be graduating high school , picking a college and learning the nest . my younger to will grow into teens .
But i am talking about my personal changes i want to see , i want to start to take my vitamin the doc recommend for me to keep my bones strong from meds i take for my head achs . i want to quiet smoking . i want to lose a few pounds . drink more water. i also want to simply my life clean out the bad and trash . like a new beginning can i do it . i really wish i could hire some one to take away all the stuff , crap and extra out of my life . (now sounds bigger and better then it is ) but like the closets , junk draws and on .. every spring ever fall i start and say this and then it back . i need to learn this decade how to control it .. how to control there the answer .

All Me

i don't talk about me much , i talk about my children . As that my whole life right now , i think a mother job is to give up part of your life for your children . me as a mother would sacife almost anything so my children can have what they need . i would go to long lenghts to make sure they are safe and provided for . i feel it my job and i only get one chance so i need to do my best . my best may not be the best but i should try . see turn into my kids again .
so i have small goal for my self this coming year . i have had a up and down year and i want to go more up then down . i picked up my Vitim's the doctors told me to take , i want to make effort to quit smoking , add more water to my diet and possible change to diet pop . i have to take baby step really i also want to save more money but it in saving .
so for now this year a little bit more about mommy !

Spring Break

OK what a nice spring day today , spring cleaning , putting deco away , out side beautiful day . also sent one off to spring break to fort Myers icks ! and other went back to school after home for 10 days on his spring break .so i got text from both are where they should be safe .. my husband says i am going to make my son text me until he is 30 hum yes he going to be a cop yes he will have to . lol just kidding i hope . As for daughter well this is first trip she gone with this far and long away with people really don't know it a school trip . i mean she been to camp for a week for years been out of town with other many many time . but hello spring break in Florida your 16 yr old hum scary if you ask me .. some new things to like cash /visa card to us , managing her money . she never had to mommy always there or at least daddy .
Well sure feeling like spring which means for us softball about two weeks and we all stat practise all three girls . actual that what my oldest is doing in fort Myers and girls will start in two weeks . i am ready ! bring on spring and softball , put the basketball away and hockey pukes away and let get gloves and bats ! bring on the mud baby !
let vent youngest dd is sick but i got a letter from school she cannot miss anymore days she missed 7 already this year . now really not sure how she missed 7 (i am guess two where not sick ?) then she seem to be a little sicker this year then past but with the hole flu thing we might of keep here home with fever , or so sooner then would of . not sure but my kid i don't believe missed to much , not be hide and stay onto her home work and school work and get good grade . so i am hoping she not really to sick tomorrow morning and if is what to do . send her in and hope she does not get all sick ahh .

Here i go , i almost wish i could wake and it april

I know it only march 8Th which i been saying the 10Th all day actual all week end hum weird . i feel like i am running around with a chicken with my head cut off . been a crazy world wind and it only Monday (really Monday only ) i feel like it has to be Thursday or something .
Why do we do it to our self's .. well i had tons of personal crap to do tonight for our fiance's . took for every . we are also changing over all are bank accounts holly stressful , pain you name it , might as well pull my teeth . then also tonight had to take son to new bank open his account , pick up dd's boy friend and then all the paper work . tomorrow have board meeting , training , softball meeting and trip meeting hum , yah all not happening . then wed i think free but i am sure my house will be falling down by then and i need to get dd driving and of course ready for her trip Sunday . Thursday school at night and Friday birthday party which i don't have a gift for .Saturday my mom want me to go some where with her on Saturday and then Sunday softball , softball try at for two also and one leave back to college and one leaves for spring trip . omg i need next Monday to come nowwwwwwwwwwwwww. i am so tired and it Monday

MOTHERS

are we made to fix all , are me made to be in control ?

Blood boils

blood boil where to start but i feel it ..
My middle daughter all upset over this play she doing and what the teacher want her to wear . I do understand dress code and if she needed a custom but she the narrative not a charter so why is this so hard . So i been talking to her for two day giving her ideas what to wear , what we have . no still stressed . willing to take her own money buy a new dress , find i go take her to look at dress, we don't find anything and she so worried about buying one and this "this teacher " not liking it omg she got her so up set and stressed about what to wear . i guess she told other that cannot wear this or that .. it so dumb but i feel for my dd. now we are at a poor school , many cultures and i just don't like this . it not the money but really the stress she putting on my kid, when at the store i am like it not a fashion show and you guys models it a play for 5th grades . ok off my rant but i am ready to let this teacher to have it .
Not making my blood boil my lovely son hehe i am not sure what to do remember his budget issue and well again this semester not passing one class . one hand i am so so proud of this kid ,he came so far and doing so well for all he has over came from a 4yr old with many issues . but a little part of me thinks he just does not apply him self fully but then as i am writing this i see it is his disability . so first budget what to do , i have talked talked and talked now what ? am i over steeping and he got to learn on his own ?i want his to have and do better then me ? learn more and do more ?
2nd his class well i guess he will need to do it him self he in college and 18 so what to do beside support him . he take 19 credits and i think it just two much . same last semester when he need to drop one class .