ok life with 4 kids

first tonight started off slow no kids home . still getting used to oldest being gone. i think he a little home sick i am sure it not us but his friends and surety of home and mom and dad . but i was good and did not say you come home this week end . i just said i see you need week end . but it was hard .
so hubby and i go to dinner and get home hang a little and then get a call the girls are at a sleep over and Randi calls and say danni got something stuck on her figure and they can not get it off . ok so them we get a 2nd call she still can not get it off and now was through up twice . ok so we are on our way now . get there it is off why kids do things like this and she find and now wants to stay and by the way like 8 of the 10 girls crying for her . my two scared to death .. danni has through up before being scared and in pain .
then so on our way home pick up our teen nik at a friends house all home well us three soundly for the night .9where these day to only have three or 4 of us here )
it getting weird around here they are so all more dependent and how they dont need us as much . iam very independent but i am actual trying to be a little more dependent on my family , hubby ect not sure i am like it that much . so it will be an interest few years .
i know many have trouble with marriages when kids are first born ect but for us that was so long ago and i think we had a little rough patch after are 2nd but when the girls came we where so busy they did not have time . something did change when our family grow , i wont say bad but but changed . as i think we are going though a change now as one has left other three getting older .
i am a little confused i like doing my own things and having my own life but i also very involved with our kids life like 5 to 6 night a week , i love my job but i also love my husband so i am trying to sort through all that to and where it all fits in . i hate women that there whole life has to revolve and need their husband for there own happiness and entertainment . so working on a good balance as the kids dont need us as much one one daily needs .

Ok this first week i am starting to worry

my anxiety taking over a little so no i am not doing ok . so Friday he wrote (email me and we talked back and forth ) then not much over week end maybe a quick word or two once then Monday i email to ask about how first real day went and a few questions and i got three words back . then i email again i got a few more words . then today nothing to my question . it hard i am trying not to call or text . and i am hoping he not doing the worst drinking , parting or anything bad happened .
i am trying not to be like my mom i remember at 18 when i moved out she keep asking me when i am coming back .. i dont want to be that person but i just want to remind him to make right choices and get a long . ( i know it sound like he three but real still need this in adulthood . )
well three girls doing well my middle daughter want a pet for her birthday . hum no i dont like pets . now her take is if i can not have a pet for my birthday then i dont want anything ! well i want to say i think i actual said that easy and walked away . i know sound mean but this is my very gift child that has some issue sometimes . so we will see her birthday is not for another 5 weeks


ok i am editing to say i did get email from him last night with about three lines it hard not be able to see him , look him in the eyes and see physical what going on . si i know he a live so i am a little happier . still hard .

Ok first week fears

Here was a little advice my husban gave our son was he walked out the do to move to college , college is about good grades and condoms (oh my ) . also was they walk his to his new room at college house manager like i am here to control fights and watch the drinking . (i am not sure my son even took a drink ) i am not worry he will or he will drive but i am worry about pressure to drink to much . you hear this story . is he saver he is in the law program and they can be kicked out if get in trouble .my husban also told him to make us proud . i know he will(i hope)
what about his girls friend we had a talk knowing a long distant relationship might not last as she here in high school and your so far away busy with your new life . he does understand that to . ok so i worried last night knowing it was a friday night and they are lose on there own a bunch of 18 yr most for the first time away from home .
on good notes is he likes his roomates . things are falling into place mostly . he forgot the right kind of shirt tho for uniform so he had to go buy a few until he gets home . i might send a package to him monday shirts and his old phone as his is not working . other good things he get to drop a three credit class as he already has the college credit for it beside his 19 credit load just got lighter . he will also save over $500 this semster which is wonderful as we are on a tight budget and i just dont want him to grad with tons of bills .

Ok my Baby Boy is off at school living now over 200 miles away

Only girls home now . i did good did not cry at all . i am worried but i am more worried about the drive back and forth for him around 450 miles round trip on the week ends he comes home exceptional in winter and his new smaller car . i think i prepared my self the last few month like not waiting up for him when he out . of course he still had a cure few but i did wait up to make sure he was home . knowing it only a month and he is on his own . i think everyone should live through it . this first week -end i am sure hard but after class start Monday he be good . i got email and he said he lives his roommates so that a great side . i found and keep thinking to my self this was easier then dropping him off to leave for over sea in the army what he wanted to do . for you that don't know i asked him to go to school for two years first . i am not sure i was right but i felt at 16 ,17 or even 18 he not mature enough to understand what goes on over there . i under stand his point and why . i also think at 20 or sometime after he will still join and i will support him and stand with him . i just don't want my baby over there right now . sorry if some might feel that was wrong .

Are baby is 9 today wow !

these years go really fast i can not belive it has been nine years . we was are 4th an last and we know it and she does to . so she really truly is our baby but she lovely , kind , caring sweet and fun to be around with and really cute !
she got a new ipod bigger one for her birthday today and a shirt i am taking her to Alains for dinner with her other 9yr old sister . my son with girls friend before he leave , other dd and dh are at softball but grandma and other grandma are meeting us there . it been fun . i baked a cake today for her Before she woke her sister deco for her birthday so that was sweet and went yesterday to dallor store to get her something .
where does the time do i remember how hard it was when she was little and her sister was a baby but i loved these day s
Well happy birthday Dani !

well all well week end

nothing exciting here low keep laid back . this week is crazy i actual only working 2 1/2 days and one full . so it will be crazy and fast . son girls friend here today so i am tired to the house it a little weird now that all the kids are ages that can be left alone for a few then now we add girls here and nope tired to house again watching kids lol i would not have it any other way but i feel lost some of my few well .
i am looking forward to my son living on his own and learning hum home not so bad , always clean towels , food to eat and clean bathroom lol maybe he care maybe not . i know biggest for me was i messed the food .
will it be different with just three girls at home (ok i could cry ) not really as he is the oldest , a boy and done with most sports he is on his own a lot and not with us so we will see . it be weird tho just knowing he is not here !

so i am so excited in a way for my son to leave the nest

So last year after college started i picked up all new bedding , bath stuff like towels shower curtaining , and a few other things . plus yesterday i took him to pick up a few dishes , cleaning supplies and stuff he might need . he so unexcited! boo so i don't care and i don't have time for this . my oldest daughter so looking for this and him care less . a little disappointed . i did ask if he wants me to move him up there and he was yes so that good at least i get to come and help move him in . he a very low maintains kid . except for video games you know .
i am sure it will be a shock one day and he wakes and does not have a bowl to eat his cereal out of or nothing to drink it sure not going to be like moms home lol . it a right of passing for all i do remember not sure anyone was helping me find pans, pots ect i cannot wait until he eat mac and cheese and Romain noodles fro a week straight . i did many times . he will leave like we all did .

well it been a while again

I lost net for around 5 days . wow how out of touch i felt so weird . i did try to embrace it tho and see net not really good for the family as it take away from family time . we all could sit in different rooms and talk to other and not each other . so i try to use that time . oh yah you think i have a clean house but nope not at all i think it is messing then when we have computer working lol

count down son leaves in 6 days i will drop him off at college . well really not dropping but i will go up and help move him in and if want help him get settle . i hope i be able to leave and not cry 3 1/2 hour all the way home . you know some time my anxiety not always in check and i worry about dumb dumb things lol like will he get up for class , does he need a toaster , will he have enough money to live and pay for school . dumb dumb it will all work out . will he get up for class , will he do his home work ... crazy stuff cool
i was told i be ready for him to leave and i feeling i am like he driving me crazy with some stuff he doing , late hours hang-out with friends and girl friend, i trying to be understanding as his last days living down here full time . well i am sure i just looking for stuff to push him away and hopeful he grow and make good choose this is the real test on our parenting . scared the crap out of me .

ok a little weird

so my son gone until Saturday . oldest daughter gone up at a friends cabin and girls where at a friends house . so after work for a minute i was know ones mom here weird . they where all gone .
it was like what do it do . i mean i have been home alone before and it always weird . i have another 10 yrs before all are on there own somewhat but wow
husband and i just decide recently to work on our marriage a little we will see . it weird or wounder what will be are purpose if we are not parenting someone . i am not sure i will do with out them . i mean i have been parenting for 18 yrs already and then we have another 10 yrs before our youngest leaves so that hum 28 of parenting someone in our home . am i even that old ?
i have friends, things i like to do , things to keep me busy and i love my job so i am sure i will fig what to do with my time but will it be lonely at first ? well i guess in 10 yrs i could be a grandma (omg ) my son will 28 by them and dd 25 i hope not really but if so then it will be . i am hoping my children have children later and start a career they love first . get set in light and be ready for all live has to toss there way . i would never change when , how many or anything about my kids . but i thought i knew the world and i will have to worker harder then if i might of been older . who knows tho . i am greatful for everything my life , job and family .

ok it been a few days again

Drop son off at Fort Ripley Sunday night for the week . i know he;s a big boy and will love it to hate it he will physical , metal and educated this week in state patrol . he then will be home for hum around 10 days then leaves for college . i never know this would be hard. i wounder now how my mom felt when i left home at 18she always thought i would come home and kind of keep asking when you coming home but i did not return for any thing but vacation until i was 22 then i moved in for 4 month while i had my son. it like a piece is leaving and i Carnot not keep him safe anymore . he was to grow up . is he ready ?

oldest daughter dating wanting to bring a boy home for us to meet . ick i am not ready , she also should be driving by the end of the week . wow where has all this time gone

my baby will be 9 this month it does not seem that long ago . i am said a little none are little all growing up and our house is changing by the day . the girls are getting ready to go into 4Th and 5Th grade it remember them starting preschool on the bus like yesterday .

my wall i hit seem to be going but it will take work so i am feel well there . money suck as i am worried with private school , college ,3rd car and all . everyone keeps telling me all they need or want and my head spins a little . it will all work out i know and well if it dont we will eat and have a house so we will fig it all out .