Labels Labels i hate Labels But

first i hate label children .. i hated my son being label and of course doctor where always changing it and adding other would say oh no it this not this . he had ever 3 letter dio you could think off .. ok he now almost 19 and i see issue still but he come so far and i am positive he will over come all . now to my middle daughter am at a lost . her behavior is so bad right now .i am at wits end . she on the "gifted side " but i hate that label or any . i am trying positive to curve her behavior in a positive light but she making it hard . and she pulls this card everyone hates me , you hate me ,why everyone hate me .my son did this and then you start to feel bad (well i do ) .
here how to descibe here

To her........
a touch is a blow
a sound is a noise
a misfortune is a tragedy
a joy is an Ecstasy
and failure a death
by pearl buck
a little into her feeling
to me i read it and it everything so big when it happen instead like most of us take it as life (she takes everything so personal ) even when say no ! the intense sensitivity is killing me here conbo with other issue am at a lost .
there so many issue i could touch on here another issue we have right now and been for a while she is so argumentative and manipulative (i just figure it out did not know she was being manipulative ) they usually called future layers so much she actual wants to go into law . not sure to cry or laugh here .
This list could go on and issue we have could go on more another day am sure . I pray every night for god to help me raise guide this child with out hurting her (i dont mean physical ) metally as i just don't always know the answer .
I promise there are so many positive things about her she is lucky to have this characteristic if she learn to live with them and use them correctly . if i don't kill her first ! just kidding
mostly i really chock it up to being a preteen testing the water here at mom the talking back but it so more intense with her . i mean she not the first or last child am raising so hello dd ...... then i worry like with my son his behavior would effect my other children behavior and am worried her behavior effect my youngest daughter .