So christmas is down ..and done !

It was wonderful and i dont feel the let down i usually do and i am enjoying my week off or should say 9 days off . We decide to send our oldest dd to her hockey high school tournament by her self .it was 6+ hours each way for three days in a small town with nothing for girls to do . so we took the money we saved and change our ceiling to a "racetrack ceiling " and smooth which it was not and drive dh crazy and paint living room and hopeful kitchen but we will see if we get time . Poor dh working harder then he does when he at work .
Me i spent 1/2 today and yesterday shopping with three girls (two today ) drop oldest at school coach bus at 5:45am, this morning . wow these girls and shopping wear me out . And i have goal i been doing i want done this week each day and am working through the list so am happy with that . DC book keeping , Christmas stuff put away . declutter the kitchen . (these done ) now tomorrow work on dc curriculum room . (goal for tomorrow) plus take girls to a movie then pizza with a group of friends ! that the start of my week off . oh yah it only monday !!

Tree up Presents wrap

wrap about 40 presents today 10 dc . 5 to 6 each of my own children and my moms and a few others . I still need to write all the cards for and package gift cards and cash .
Tree up son home from college so he set it up and girls put ornaments on it . And he even took the girls to store to buy their new ornament my grandmother their great gma send them money to get a new one each year . One more day of shopping run to mall vs and bath and body run . Finish food shopping as snow coming in boohoo . Really it white enough out side you think ?
I got a dumb cold feeling blah stuff head in fog so much fun when i have so much i want to do .
Well that it for now i have many things to say but wont tonight .

well am still here

I have not felt like updating this week . Not sure if it the snow , cold ice or holiday but boy i could stay in bed or at least on my coach until April .Am not even that kind of person .

Ready For holiday nope . One more day shopping and then i be done i think .I bought the ham for eve dinner and now come up with all sides and something for Christmas day at BIL it is like a week away basically in my head anyway . I have not even started wrapping and i wrap for 4 kids even 4 gift a pc it alot lol .

smoking i did great for a week actual did not really smoke all weekend then i went back ahh so i need to get in mide set and just do it again . I have not gave up .. i will contine this fight .

money stressed well one new family started and 2nd should start new year and one on the 15th jan so that will help a tons once it all comes together . every time i think ok my finance roll something happen . Kids car need some work all because hum 16 year should not drive in winter lol no i think dh being to tough but she made some bad choice that cost us some money. nothing bad she well not sure what happen i think stuck on ice Monday morning on way to school on high way and drive might of died stalled and well she took a ride to school left car . which of course got towed before dh could get back to it with some one . Then he decide it was not running right after picking it from the tow yard so 200.00 lost pay , 135.00 tow 150.00 part and still we want to take it in for am sure another 200.00 . always something isn't .

Well crazy week end coming up actual start tomorrow basketball game , Friday basketball game Saturday softball and hockey game then sunday rest i hope . Oh yah remember i still need to finish my Christmas shopping . Then only 4 days of work then Christmas eve .

Son will be home tomorrow for winter break . kids still have school until Thursday i think all three girls do .

Wow did the year go . 2010 many blessing .

Well i have the Attitude

of who cares or could say something worst so i need to change my thinking . Had a great week end non smoke and now am back about 1/2 what i used to so it better but i think i need to change my Attitude . Ahh it hard anbd i want to and i dont . So torn . I can do it ...

Sunday already

well my anger comes and goes . smoking ok hopeful by new year i be compete done . am trying to follow the non smoking plan but i think quieting cold turkey would almost be easier . it no physical at all all mental ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. One thing at a time .

Ok one day down .

So father came home and will be recovery .
My fight today was the first day am not going to smoke . Well not really am follow the drug plan so i started the non smoking drug and i cut at least 1/2 the amount i smoke hopeful tomorrow i cut that in 1/2.I refuse to by more . I want to quick . It sad i can not decide the 1# reason to quiet . It sad isn't it sorry i feel guilty . My kids ,my heath . money 50 a week (good thing i don't drink hum )and have no life but my children ,smell , the stigma that goes with smoking . Ahh so many reason i just don't know which one will keep me from going back . Maybe me saying it out loud .

So what a week and it not over

My dad is ok he will recovery with the right meds . so thanks for your pray and thought but now i need them . My little bad habit i smoke and have smoked for hum 20 + years that a long time . Am praying with all my might for the straight and courage to save my self , my family and possible my dads life . Maybe if i quiet he will also . I watch my grandfather die from lung cancer and i watch my fil have a stroke and his never fulling recovery . And now my dad . Am already on boarder with my blood pressure . And worst i just hate everything about it . not sure what i hate worst to keep me from smoking . Am going to give this a big try . I tried last year but did not stick with it . i am just going to keep my self am quieting . Am quieting !