ok life with 4 kids

first tonight started off slow no kids home . still getting used to oldest being gone. i think he a little home sick i am sure it not us but his friends and surety of home and mom and dad . but i was good and did not say you come home this week end . i just said i see you need week end . but it was hard .
so hubby and i go to dinner and get home hang a little and then get a call the girls are at a sleep over and Randi calls and say danni got something stuck on her figure and they can not get it off . ok so them we get a 2nd call she still can not get it off and now was through up twice . ok so we are on our way now . get there it is off why kids do things like this and she find and now wants to stay and by the way like 8 of the 10 girls crying for her . my two scared to death .. danni has through up before being scared and in pain .
then so on our way home pick up our teen nik at a friends house all home well us three soundly for the night .9where these day to only have three or 4 of us here )
it getting weird around here they are so all more dependent and how they dont need us as much . iam very independent but i am actual trying to be a little more dependent on my family , hubby ect not sure i am like it that much . so it will be an interest few years .
i know many have trouble with marriages when kids are first born ect but for us that was so long ago and i think we had a little rough patch after are 2nd but when the girls came we where so busy they did not have time . something did change when our family grow , i wont say bad but but changed . as i think we are going though a change now as one has left other three getting older .
i am a little confused i like doing my own things and having my own life but i also very involved with our kids life like 5 to 6 night a week , i love my job but i also love my husband so i am trying to sort through all that to and where it all fits in . i hate women that there whole life has to revolve and need their husband for there own happiness and entertainment . so working on a good balance as the kids dont need us as much one one daily needs .

Ok this first week i am starting to worry

my anxiety taking over a little so no i am not doing ok . so Friday he wrote (email me and we talked back and forth ) then not much over week end maybe a quick word or two once then Monday i email to ask about how first real day went and a few questions and i got three words back . then i email again i got a few more words . then today nothing to my question . it hard i am trying not to call or text . and i am hoping he not doing the worst drinking , parting or anything bad happened .
i am trying not to be like my mom i remember at 18 when i moved out she keep asking me when i am coming back .. i dont want to be that person but i just want to remind him to make right choices and get a long . ( i know it sound like he three but real still need this in adulthood . )
well three girls doing well my middle daughter want a pet for her birthday . hum no i dont like pets . now her take is if i can not have a pet for my birthday then i dont want anything ! well i want to say i think i actual said that easy and walked away . i know sound mean but this is my very gift child that has some issue sometimes . so we will see her birthday is not for another 5 weeks


ok i am editing to say i did get email from him last night with about three lines it hard not be able to see him , look him in the eyes and see physical what going on . si i know he a live so i am a little happier . still hard .

Ok first week fears

Here was a little advice my husban gave our son was he walked out the do to move to college , college is about good grades and condoms (oh my ) . also was they walk his to his new room at college house manager like i am here to control fights and watch the drinking . (i am not sure my son even took a drink ) i am not worry he will or he will drive but i am worry about pressure to drink to much . you hear this story . is he saver he is in the law program and they can be kicked out if get in trouble .my husban also told him to make us proud . i know he will(i hope)
what about his girls friend we had a talk knowing a long distant relationship might not last as she here in high school and your so far away busy with your new life . he does understand that to . ok so i worried last night knowing it was a friday night and they are lose on there own a bunch of 18 yr most for the first time away from home .
on good notes is he likes his roomates . things are falling into place mostly . he forgot the right kind of shirt tho for uniform so he had to go buy a few until he gets home . i might send a package to him monday shirts and his old phone as his is not working . other good things he get to drop a three credit class as he already has the college credit for it beside his 19 credit load just got lighter . he will also save over $500 this semster which is wonderful as we are on a tight budget and i just dont want him to grad with tons of bills .

Ok my Baby Boy is off at school living now over 200 miles away

Only girls home now . i did good did not cry at all . i am worried but i am more worried about the drive back and forth for him around 450 miles round trip on the week ends he comes home exceptional in winter and his new smaller car . i think i prepared my self the last few month like not waiting up for him when he out . of course he still had a cure few but i did wait up to make sure he was home . knowing it only a month and he is on his own . i think everyone should live through it . this first week -end i am sure hard but after class start Monday he be good . i got email and he said he lives his roommates so that a great side . i found and keep thinking to my self this was easier then dropping him off to leave for over sea in the army what he wanted to do . for you that don't know i asked him to go to school for two years first . i am not sure i was right but i felt at 16 ,17 or even 18 he not mature enough to understand what goes on over there . i under stand his point and why . i also think at 20 or sometime after he will still join and i will support him and stand with him . i just don't want my baby over there right now . sorry if some might feel that was wrong .